David Hasselhoff, left, as Roger DeBris, and Rich Affannato as Carmen Ghia, in Mel Brook's "The Producers," currently in Las Vegas.

courtesy of Paris Las Vegas

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These are not your mother's Broadway shows. The bright lights of Broadway aren't nearly as bright as they are on the Las Vegas Strip. Don't expect to find "Death of a Salesman" here. Musicals are the moneymakers on the theater stages. You can drink while watching a show — though gambling is a no-no. You won't even be able to hear the bells and whistles of the slot machines while you're tucked away in a state-of-the-art theater. Which may be why most productions are a quick one-act in Vegas — can't waste too much time away from the gambling tables, don'tcha know. But — the theaters' seats are cushy, the actors Broadway-caliber and the production values worthy of the Great White Way. Here's a taste of what's in store.

Here's the good news: David Hasselhoff, who played the cross-dressing "worst director on Broadway" Roger DeBris in this musical based on Brooks' 1968 movie, is leaving the production today.

Here's the bad: David Hasselhoff is leaving the production today.

The "Baywatch" star's characterization was so spoofy and overdrawn that he was hard to turn away from. Part of you wonders if Brooks didn't bring him on board to pull a "Producers" on himself — intentionally stage a flop.

It didn't work. The show about a couple of producers who decide they can make more money staging a bomb than a hit is still a complete hoot. And it can only improve with Hasselhoff gone.

In the Vegas production, Brad Oscar is an energetic and manic Max Bialystock; Larry Raben is Leo Bloom, the mousy wanna-be-a-producer. His Bloom lacks the annoying whining that Matthew Broderick brought to the role on Broadway, and for that we are most grateful.

Replacing Hasselhoff is Lee Roy Reams, a theater veteran who was playing the Roger DeBris character in the New York company of "The Producers" when the show closed there last month. He may not have the campy appeal of the "Knight Rider" star, but the Tony winner has the acting chops Hasselhoff was missing.

The songs cut out of the production include the ridiculous "Der Guten Tag Hop Clop," sung by the Nazi Franz Liebkind (played with perfect dimness by Fred Applegate); Max's mournful "Where Did We Go Right?" sung after the guaranteed flop became a hit; and "Betrayed," a delicious lament sung by Max while he's sitting in jail after Leo deserts him.

If you haven't seen the play, it's likely you won't miss the numbers. If you have, you understand that they helped establish character and underscore relationships more fully.

Still, this production will wipe the miserable memory of the 2005 movie away.

Las Vegas is hugely over the top, with extraordinary measures taken to try to convince you you're in Paris. Or Venice. Or at the foot of an exploding volcano.

So it's a relief to walk into the "Spamalot" theater at the Wynn Las Vegas, where cardboard clouds float overhead and stage pieces and bits are lovingly tacky and practically shout, "Look at me, I'm fake."

Don't get the wrong idea. This is not tacked-together theater. This exuberant, silly, uproarious play is reason enough to speed off to Vegas. If you're a Monty Python fan, that is. And really, who isn't?

The play is based on the film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," with a few bits borrowed from other shows. One of those is the song "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life," first heard in the Monty Python movie "Life of Brian," and incorporated here a couple of times, even as an audience singalong.

John O'Hurley is perfection as King Arthur, the rather buffoonish and endearing seeker of the Holy Grail. As he seeks, he gathers knights for his round table. Neither Arthur nor the knights are what T.H. White envisioned in "The Once and Future King." Old T.H. would have been quite bewildered, and a tad horrified, we suspect.

Playing The Lady of the Lake is an appropriately over-the-top Nikki Crawford, who last appeared on the Arizona Theatre Company stage in the 1999 production of "Play On!"

This is a skinnier version of the nearly 2 1/2-hour Broadway show, and sometimes plot jumps are made that might confuse. But come on, it's Monty Python. Plot is not the point.

Silliness, pure unadulterated, joyous silliness, is. And that you get in spades.

Ooh-la-la. This "Phantom" is a visually kicked-up version of the Broadway hit and it looks mighty impressive.

Its home is a $40 million theater that looks like a run-down opera house. When the lights go down, it becomes lush, full of period-dressed mannequins in the opera boxes to make it look packed and of-the-time-and-place (Paris, 1881). A few minutes into the show, one-third of the chandelier, which had been sitting on the stage, rises to meet its other two parts and hang in glory over the audience (until it shatters once again, of course). Lights are magical; the special effects special indeed.

Of course, this "Phantom" has gone on a strict diet to be reduced to 95 minutes. Lines were cut from songs and scenes, so while the already-thin plot about a scarred man who haunts the Paris Opera House is still there, it's an anemic version of the story. You walk away knowing less about the Phantom or any of the other characters. But you still get the music, and lots and lots of glitter and flash.

The roles of the Phantom, Christine and Carlotta are double cast. At the Thursday night performance we saw, Anthony Crivello played the Phantom. He has a beautiful voice but lacks the raw sexuality that makes the Phantom so irresistible. Elizabeth Loyacano's innocence served her Christine well, and Geena Jeffries Mattox was a beautiful-voiced hoot as the buffoonish Carlotta.

"Phantom" fans will be a tad disappointed that an hour has been lopped off their musical; the rest of us, really, are mostly relieved.

If any show could be cut to 90 minutes, this one is it.

But it isn't. It's still in its 2-plus-hour, can't-get-those-songs-out-of-your-head glory.

We caught a late show (10 p.m.), and didn't get out until almost 12:30 a.m. That's because there were two encores, though nobody seemed to be clamoring for them.

This musical is about as ridiculous as you can get. It's about a young woman on a Greek island who's preparing to marry. She discovers her single mother's diary, reads it, finds that any of three men may be her father, and invites them all to the island for the wedding. Without her mother's knowledge, of course.

This is all an excuse to sing such ABBA tunes as "Honey, Honey." And "Chiquita." And, natch, "Mamma Mia."

It's catchy and fun, and Carol Linnea Johnson as the single mom, Donna, and Robin Baxter as her chubby BFF Rosie, had their roles down pat — as they should; they both came from the Broadway production.

Maybe Las Vegas warps one into thinking everything should be fast and flashy. This is neither. Still, just try to get those tunes out of your head.

Cirque du Soleil is to Las Vegas what saguaros are to the Sonoran Desert: They are everywhere.

Currently, Cirque has five resident shows in the city, with another planned with illusionist Criss Angel for next year.

Its newest one is "Love." It features 26 Beatles songs, a convoluted story and, oddly, very little of the amazing acrobatic work Cirque is known for.

Characters like Eleanor Rigby, Doctor Robert, Father McKenzie and Lady Madonna wander through an almost surreal trip, taken to the tune of such songs as "All You Need Is Love," "Strawberry Fields" and "Blackbird."

The sound is terrific — the theater, built just for the show, features speakers installed in each seat. And, of course, the music is sublime.

But the show is too disjointed to really pull you in.

Giant blackbirds (OK, kites made to look like them) fly overhead, a Volkswagen Beetle breaks apart (get it? just like the group), a mother floats in, floats out (both John Lennon and Paul McCartney lost mothers when they were young). It tries very hard to create a story, or at least a concept, to care about. And it never quite gets there.

That's not so, however, with "Ka," a real magical mystery tour.

The story swirls around a set of twins who have been separated. Battles ensue. Fantastic journeys unfold.

And the audience is treated to a visual and aural feast that is laced with wonder.

Stunning acrobatics make artists look as though they are floating through air. A 360-degree rotating stage turns into a sandy beach, a steep mountain side, a ship-bearing ocean. At one point, the stage turns vertically and gives the audience what looks to be an aerial view of a terrifying battle.

"Ka," according to Cirque press materials, is "inspired by the ancient Egyptian belief in the 'ka,' an invisible spiritual duplicate of the body that accompanies every human being throughout this life and into the next."

OK, we'll bite.

In any case, it is a rich, thrilling feast and worth every cent of the pricey tickets.

Great Neon Way keeps it light