Advice from Carolyn Hax

I’m having trouble dealing with my violent niece and nephew, 5 and 7. I have two children of my own a little older. We are a tight family that (mostly, despite this big issue) enjoys hanging out together quite often. It’s common for the 5-year-old to hold my 7-year-old down and just swing punches.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My lovely, 23-year-old daughter is a romantic and wants to marry the young man she is dating.My daughter lives alone, pays her bills, and is learning how to be a responsible adult. Her boyfriend lives with his parents (who fully promote this relationship) and has an entry-level job, so has n…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

How do I start trusting my wife again? Three years ago, I caught her (52) having an affair with a 29-year-old aide who came to our house to help with our autistic son.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Hi, Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I have a longtime friend who I once considered a “best friend.” We connect at the heart, and have relied on each other a lot over the years.Several years back, she went through a tough professional transition and completely cut me off. Ultimately we worked it out, and all was well for a few …

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Sometimes I think I’d like someone to rescue me from my life — someone to make it so I don’t have to work anymore, and I just sit back and not think about anything serious or responsible.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My husband and I are newlyweds. He had a long-term relationship with a woman who turned out to be married. When they first started dating, she lied to him about her marital status. He eventually found out but, by that point, had developed strong feelings for her and did not end their relatio…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I’ve been with a wonderful man for two years. We’ve discussed at length spending the rest of our lives together, including our thoughts on money, raising kids, our careers, and working to fix problems that arise in our relationship instead of quitting.Last week he took me engagement-ring sho…

Going through the old story of the wedding-bell blues

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Our daughter, 27 and married for just over two years, is feeling she “is living the wrong life, like I’m not in the right place.” We are very fond of our son-in-law, but our primary concern is our daughter.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I have been living with my boyfriend for 10 years. He moved here from out east and has an adult son there. He has been divorced for 16 years.I have put up with his ex-wife’s texting and calling every time the boy upset her. I tolerated it because the boy was young and I understood it was pai…

Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend's ex-wife can't let go; time for a decision

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I recently started dating “Mike.” We have been dating for a few months, and we get along well and have fun together. But ... Several times a day, Mike will text me how happy he is we are dating, then ask if I feel the same. And he always finds some way to be touching me — holding hands, arm …

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I’m having some food issues with my son.While I was nursing the baby, I could hear the other kids running around. It turns out they found the Easter candy I had bought for them and were eating it all.Then while cleaning up today, I found about 20 candy wrappers under his bed.I’m panicking be…

Carolyn Hax: Young son steals candy, hides it and - gasp - lies about it

Oh, Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

The last few times I’ve been out with my buddy and his wife, she’s made some really derogatory remarks to him, if not outright screamed at him. He seems really cowed by her, like he’s just trying to placate her so she’ll stop yelling and calling him names. He hardly talks now. If I even hint…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Our oldest son, “Jay,” lived with a girl I’ll call “Stephanie.” He and our youngest son, “Sean,” were the best of friends and went everywhere together. Both young men are 30ish and have their own places.Jay and Stephanie didn’t work out, and she broke up with him. The breakup was pretty roug…

Carolyn Hax: Parents choose sides as love triangle rips family apart

Dear Carolyn,

Advice from Carolyn Hax

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I’m a single mom in my 40s with three girls. My longtime boyfriend and I are discussing marriage. The question is about timing and logistics. We have an existing issue of how well he and my children (9-15) can live together, given their loudness, their friends coming and going, and his need …

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I cheated on my ex. I’m extremely ashamed of this part of my past.I am dating again now. At what point in a new relationship do I open up about this?

True or false: 'Once a cheater, always a cheater'

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Hi, Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Hey, Carolyn:

Dad was disappointed when son included father-in-law in trip

Hey, Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

How should I respond when svelte friends pat their (small or nonexistent) bellies and announce they’re dieting to get rid of their “belly pooch”?

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My parents have invited the entire family, mine and my siblings’, to fly to their home to celebrate a major life event. Everyone is invited to stay at their house except my son — they plan to get a motel room for him. Their problem is, my son is gay. He is married, and plans to bring his hus…

Mom should take a stand when parents exclude gay grandson

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My husband’s mother passed away 10 years ago, before we got married. They were very close. After she died, my husband spent years in a pretty dark place. My father-in-law remarried shortly after my mother-in-law’s death. My husband mildly dislikes her.We are expecting our first child, and my…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Dear Carolyn:My husband, “Jeff,” and I have a really great relationship. Marrying him was one of the best decisions I have made. He is good to me and kind and does an amazing job overall of being a husband. Several years ago he dated and was intimate with “Nancy.” After the flames fizzled, t…

Feed the love, but don't protect it

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I’m pregnant with our first child. My husband is being very supportive in many ways, but I’ve also asked him to go to my doctor’s appointments. I want him there for support in case something goes wrong, and I also think he should experience everything I have to go through during this pregnan…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I’m in a relationship with a great guy. We’re talking marriage. Everything for the most part is wonderful, except for a communication issue that has become our “repeat fight.”I am a planner, and he is not.

Planning causes stress, so it's time to back off

Dear Carolyn,

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I grew up with a mother who was profoundly manipulative, volatile and mean-spirited. My siblings and I all have anxiety disorders for which we have sought counseling.I have begun allowing my mother limited contact with daughter out of my mother’s desire to have a relationship with her. I am …

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Last spring we attended the wedding of my husband’s best friend. When we visited the couple the year before, they threw out a couple of dates they were considering. When the fiancee mentioned the birthday date, my husband, the groom-to-be and I all said, “Oh, that’s Jason’s 40th.” My husband…

Hurt husband and wife, his echo chamber, need to air it or drop it

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My husband’s mother passed away 10 years ago, before we got married. They were very close.My father-in-law remarried shortly after my mother-in-law’s death.We are expecting our first child, and my husband is thrilled, but the new arrival is shining an extra bright spotlight on how much he mi…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

For decades my mother has basically ignored me and my children, or treated us unfairly in comparison to my siblings. The problem is my mother constantly brags, to anyone who will listen, about how much she has done for us and how she has helped us out in times of need, when this is far from …

Mom distorts truth, but is it worth trying to set record straight?

Dear Carolyn:

Advice from Carolyn Hax

I have a favorite song that I sing to my 9-month-old daughter. I would like to discourage other family members from singing this special song to her. Is that a realistic thought? If so, how is the best way to handle it?

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My daughter would like to request cash versus the usual wedding gifts.How would you go about wording this request? We are trying not to sound too harsh. I thought I read about this idea in one of your previous columns.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

A close friend of mine has a new girlfriend. I don’t like her. I’m planning on having a little housewarming party. Is there any polite way I can say my friend is invited, but I don’t want him to bring his girlfriend over when I’m hosting events?

Advice from Carolyn Hax

Ever since my two sons were born (now 19 and 16), my father has sent a modest monetary gift on their birthdays and Christmas. He is a wealthy man and although the gift was not much, it was just lovely that he thought of them.This Christmas, my father sent me a chatty email explaining that he…

Advice from Carolyn Hax

It’s take-(back)-control-of-your-life day.

Advice from Carolyn Hax

My wife and I have been married nine years, and it’s starting to bother me that she has not begun her career yet. Following college, she got a master’s degree and then started her Ph.D. She’s now six years into her four-year program and has hinted that she may not want to work after she graduates.