Market rallies
Signs of improvement in the economy have helped to drive the Dow up beyond expectations. This is due in great part to sky-high quarterly earnings for investors trading in the sale of indentured servants, slaves, bottled water made from recycled human waste, breast milk from 3rd world women, and the new human-based food product known as “ Soylent Green”. This doesn’t include the windfall from pawn shops, thrift stores, pimps, black marketeers, quick loan check cashing enterprises and organ sales by children. Said one broker of the bullish market, “The market is back and I’m making a killing! I bought the Caymans, 2 congressmen and an out-of work single mother for my daughter with this week's bonus.”














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