Councilman Steve Kozachik announced he is leaving the Republican Party which he claims has become a narrow party of extremists. Numerous attempts to reach a Pima County Democratic party spokesperson went unanswered because the door on the geodesic dome was sealed tight and a voice inside kept shouting,”Go away! We have less than an ounce! Don’t make us come out there and get in touch with your feelings!”
According the recent census the local democratic party now consists of Steve Kozachik, a trolley conductor, 5 therapists, 4 Quakers, 3 gay ranchers, 2 Prius owners and a neighborhood activist opposed to everything that was invented after macrame. Add to this list 4 Baja seccesionists who are on a Sonoran Hot Dog Hunger strike, Pima County’s oldest living veteran of Woodstock, Moonbeam Turtledove, a man who rides the bus wearing a Pygmy Owl costume, handing out “Free Weed” cards, three Dove Mountain retirees who started a cult religion called Obamanarianism, an earnest Earth Firster still recovering from servere injuries he incurred by actually attempting to hug a saguaro and a homeless person of undetermined age who blames his," downfall on that bastard Nixon."